There are days I want to touch and hold onto forever. This isn't one of those days. This is just one of those moments when my eyes droop and shut and I dream inside this fever that is life. I want, and I realize that I am, and it confuses me until all I want to do is find a way out of this existence. I am. I need to be else, until I am nothing that can be remembered in the end.
I liked that feeling, and when I finally hung up the phone, it was so that I could fall back into sleep, but I tumbled the way someone does when they're dying – in slow motion, until the seconds felt like hours, but once I was asleep, time was nothing. I felt awake when I woke up, three minutes before my alarm clock went off.
There are words for people who can stand up and take the ridicule, and those who break down on the first compliment. There are places and there are feelings and there are pressures that end up making us who we can be, just by breaking down who we were and making us forget that.
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